Hey kids, me again (surprise). Now I like to think I’m teaching you at least something on this blog but I decided to do this new history feature, Youth in Retrospect, just in case, so we can all ‘do a learn’ whilst (mainly) celebrating some major events in musical history.

Nirvana (noun): A transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self and the subject is released from the effects of karma and the cycle of death & rebirth. Often considered to be the final goal of Buddhism.

Now I won’t lie, I’m not a die-hard fan of Nirvana and never have been. If I’m completely honest, the grunge genre never appealed to me. Having said this, I can still understand the impact of Kurt Cobain’s loss on this fateful day 25 years ago (5^th April). It’s an interesting one, this, because Kurt Cobain has been dead for longer than I (and I’m sure, many of you) have been alive. Heck, in two years he will have been dead for longer than he was alive. It’s one of those thoughts on which if you dwell too long, you’ll end up down a rabbit hole that, quite frankly, you don’t want to be down.

Okay so let’s get the basics out of the way. Kurt Donald Cobain was born on 20^th February 1967 in Aberdeen, Washington, USA. He died on 5^th April 1994 in Seattle, Washington, USA by way of suicide. In 1985, Kurt met Krist Novoselic (Nirvana’s bass player) where they went on to play in several bands together, including Stiff Woodies. Nirvana was formed in December of 1987 however it wasn’t until September 1990 that Dave Grohl became their drummer, completing the line-up everyone knows and loves to this day.

After 4 months of dating, on 24^th February 1992, Cobain married Courtney Love whilst she was pregnant with what would be their only child – Frances Bean Cobain. A record executive once noted of Love and Cobain that they were “the nineties, much more talented version of Sid and Nancy”. However it would appear that the executive managed to foresee the future, also commenting that they would “self-destruct” if nothing happened. When they met, Nirvana were at their peak and Cobain never learned how to deal with the overnight fame that came from their album, Nevermind. It’s been said this was partially due to his poor upbringing, with him still choosing to drive a second hand car for the rest of his life. Nevermind was never meant to be so successful. Grunge was a subculture that started in the 1980s, largely in Seattle, however the album definitely influenced the popularity of it – which, as we all know, defeats the point of a subculture. The overnight success into alternate mainstream was something that Nirvana didn’t know how to deal with, and didn’t expect to have to learn.

Despite Nirvana’s popularity constantly being on the up, Kurt Cobain found himself in a serious spiral. This was causing his addiction to heroin to become more severe. The pair both tried to quit for the sake of their daughter however the story often went that only a few days after checking into rehab, they’d both be back out and searching for the next high. It wasn’t until February 1994 that Cobain’s spiral truly affected the band, with threats being made to cancel the European leg of the In Utero tour just five dates in. To add fuel to the already blazing fire, his relationships with both bandmates and his wife were rapidly deteriorating. On March 1^st, Nirvana’s final performance came to a swift end when Cobain announced they would not be continuing due to laryngitis. With a 10-day break on tour, he flew to Rome to be met by Love and their daughter a few days later. This was where he had his first suicide attempt. He would then go on to have three more before shooting himself at his home in Seattle on 5^th April.

Make no mistake though, Nirvana sure made sure to achieve a lot in the short space of time they had. They released 3 studio albums – Bleach in 1989 (pre-Grohl), Nevermind in 1991 and In Utero in 1993. They also released three live albums (one post-Cobain in 2009), two EPs and 21 singles. During their time, they were nominated for ten awards, winning five including ‘New Artist’ and ‘Alternate Video’ for Smells Like Teen Spirit, In Bloom and Heart-Shaped Box.

There are many conspiracy theories surrounding both Kurt Cobain’s death and reasons for his behaviour throughout his 27 years. Out of respect for both him and those close to him, I don’t feel it right to go into these. There’s only one more certain thing to say and that’s that we lost a legend that day. Rest in peace, Kurt.

Originally from Wexford, Ireland, Robbie Zereka is continuing to break into the music scene with his second single, Bloodshot, released last Friday. Taking on a slightly more sombre tone than his previous single Favourite Feelings, Bloodshot continues to touch on another sensitive subject – this time being emotional manipulation, that sadly too many of us have or will encounter at some point in our lives. We caught up with him to learn more about it.

Aside from Bloodshot, obviously, which we’ll get onto in a minute, what’s your proudest musical achievement from the last year?

I would say performing at LoveBN1Fest in Brighton last August. We found out after we’d agreed to the slot that Nile Rodgers was also performing at the same event! We got to watch him close out the festival. It was an unreal day!

You’re one of six children, do you think this influenced your passion for music?

Absolutely. My oldest brother was hugely into music and introduced me to a wide variety of artists at a young age, ranging from David Bowie to Wu-Tang Clan. I also watched a lot of musicals and Michael Jackson music videos on VHS with my little brothers and sister! I would say my biggest childhood musical influence was my mother though. Aside from hearing loads of Dolly Parton, Elvis and Patsy Cline growing up, my mother was actually the first person to introduce me to Radiohead. She showed me the video for No Surprises when I was around 11 and I remember being fascinated by their sound and the image of the strange and beautiful Thom Yorke drowning. My obsession continues!

How would you describe Robbie Zereka for someone who’s never heard of you before?

Emotive yet rousing alternative pop/rock with a pinch of performance art. 

How did Robbie Zereka come about/form conceptually?

Robbie Zereka is a stage name I created for myself. It is actually a phonetic version of my husband’s Lebanese surname, Zreika. I am actually quite shy, so I have now begun experimenting with using Robbie Zereka as an alter-ego on stage. The concept is an evolving work in progress but it is interesting how you can deliver ideas and emotions without inhibition when you remove your more critical “everyday self” from the equation.

So the music video for your song ‘Bloodshot’ was released on Friday – congratulations! This is quite a dark song. Was the inspiration for the song from any experience in particular?

This is a song I wrote about someone in my past who emotionally manipulated and bullied me over a long period of time. I was very close to this person and really looked up to them as they portrayed themselves as invincible to me. It was only in hindsight when this person fell apart that I realised the extent of their abuse. It’s not a triumphant realisation though. Ultimately, the experience taught me to empathise with people in general. I feel like there are always deeper reasons for people’s damaging behaviour and the one that they really feel the hate towards is themselves. Although this was a sad realisation it has allowed me to distance myself from people’s actions and try to understand the motivations behind their behaviour. I find this quite interesting and I spend a lot of time thinking about what drives people.

The idea for the blue heads in the video, where did that come from?

I first imagined the video concept and the blue boys a couple of years ago. I didn’t understand the relevance at the time really but the imagery came to me and I felt compelled to bring the idea to life so I didn’t question the meaning too much. It’s funny, sometimes I don’t really understand the meaning of my work until much later. I won’t elaborate too much as I will let people derive their own meaning from the video but I think it is probably my brain’s weird way of processing the experience that inspired the song itself. It makes sense to me in a strange way!

Are you allowed to reveal who was behind the other head in the video or are you sworn to secrecy?

The other blue boy is my good friend Sami. It’s not a secret and it was a shame to cover up his lovely face but it was important to conceal the blue boys and separate them from the scenes of me alone in the video. Again, I don’t know why but I just felt that there needed to be a distinction between these characters and myself. I wanted them to be otherworldly or non-human almost.

The location is beautiful, can you tell us any more about it?

We shot the video in my friend’s house in North London. He used to own an antique shop and when it closed down he kept his favourite pieces for himself, using them to decorate his house. It really was the perfect location for this story and I am very lucky to have such kind and supportive friends!

When are we next able to hear ‘Bloodshot’ live and what can we expect from a Robbie Zereka show?

I have an acoustic set on 3rd April at Amersham Arms in New Cross and our next full band set is on 17th April at The Lighthouse in Shoreditch! My new character based approach is giving me the confidence to play around visually on stage with costumes and the like so you might see the blue boys in real life if you’re lucky!

Check out the self-produced music video, directed and edited by William Pavli, below:

You can keep up with Robbie Zereka from the links below:

Website: https://www.robbiezereka.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/robbiezereka/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/robbiezereka

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robbiezereka

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4HxYMGAwOaU42jIlvSNaEv